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Posted by on May 28, 2007

My husband tells me that sometimes I am too honest to the point where I just sound rude. Whereas it’s my opinion where I would rather have someone tell me something that they might think is rude than assume the worst. I’m very perceptive when it comes to picking up on people’s attitudes, body language and what they don’t say. So when someone chooses to avoid even talking to me at all, I’ll assume they don’t like me. This may not even be the case – maybe they just want me to initiate conversation, to which I say I’m incredibly bad at. I’ll generally only converse with people who initiate conversations with me. But if that person does have a problem with me, I’d rather them tell me so that I can either know not to waste my time with them in the future, or change my behaviour so they’re more comfortable. But I am certainly not going to change who I am or my behaviour without being told to do so because it makes someone uncomfortable.

This topic of conversation came up because recently my husband and I were at a party, and I had expressed that I choose not to attend parties specifically designed to sell skin care and makeup products, because I do not wear such products, to someone who leads these parties as a job. Apparently this was just rude, so my husband thought to mention that maybe I should wear these products so it would sound less rude, thereby causing others to suggest my skin may not always be beautiful and I should start using cosmetics now so my skin stays nicer longer. I’m sorry if I don’t want to buy into all the glitz and glamour that the media suggests we should do, but I was not raised that way, and I feel I should be entitled to my own opinion, and be able to express said opinion. If that means I’m stepping on people’s toes, then so be it. After all, I find it hard enough to talk and converse with people at the best of times.

Okay so apparently I wasn’t being entirely honest when I posted this… I think I just forgot half of what I meant to say.

Because I was raised not to buy into all the glitz and glamour, I had expressed that I thought cosmetics were a waste of money (I also think I can’t be bothered spending the time it takes to use them, though I can’t remember if I expressed that view). It was a while into the conversation that I said this, and only said it because I felt like I had to defend my opinion, or stop them from trying to convince me that I needed to wear these products because one day I’m going to look old and ugly and I should’ve been wearing these products since I was a teenager. At least half of this convincing occurred before I said it was a waste of money.

But I still don’t consider what I said rude. I would not be offended if someone said paying for someone to make a web site, which is essentially how I get my income when I work, was a waste of money because I know that there are people who hold that opinion and there is nothing I can say or do to change their mind. The point I was trying to make is that if they had considered what I said to be rude, they should have told me. I should not have needed to hear it from my husband two days later.

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Dominica has a strong interest in exploring diversity in media, seeing people subverting corporate control of creativity through crowdfunding and indie publishing, and spending as much time as she can travelling the world and discovering culture. This is what she most regularly blogs about. In her spare time, Dominica is primarily focused on long-form improv theatre, and writing and publishing speculative fiction. You can find links to some of her free and published stories and screenplays on her writing page, or check out her pirate time-travel novel Adrift. Though born and raised in Australia to American parents, Dominica lived in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, between 2008-2014, until she moved to the San Francisco Bay Area. She also has a background in web programming, filmmaking, and stand-up comedy. For more information, check out her about page, or any of the specific pages about her various creative pursuits in the links at the top of the page.

One Response to Honesty

  1. terminus

    Hmm, I note no mention of the phrase “rip-off” or “waste of money” in your recollection of what happened above!

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